Looking for a way to break up with your fiance, but struggling to bring
yourself to do it? Find out the best
preparation and way to make a clean break with your fiance with helpful tips
from the matchmakers at New Jersey Singles.
Relationships go down hill more often than you might think. But when you are already engaged with
someone, breaking up may seem to be heartless, selfish, and many more negative
things. At the same time, if you would
like to break up with him, you already know there are some issues that cannot
be solved. And the sooner the
relationship ends, the quicker everyone can move on. If this seems to be the case for you, the
matchmakers New Jersey Singles has a few tips on how to break up with
your fiance.
Be Clear About The Reasons For The Breakup
You might have a different variety of feelings going through you right
now, and maybe the relationship isn't what it used to be. But unless you have a clear mind about why
you have fallen out of love with your fiance, he won't forgive you for why
you're breaking up with him... Or, later you might be haunted with doubts on
whether or not you made the right decision.
So take some time to yourself, contemplate all the negative emotions
you're feeling about your fiance. Is he
too controlling, is he flirtatious with other women, or is he not financially
responsible enough for marriage? Once
you have your thoughts in order, figure out what you're going to do about
it. Would you like to talk to him about
it and see if he can fix his ways? Well,
chances are, if you're reading this article, you're probably passed that
stage. So be prepared to make your
decision, and be sure to stick with it, reminds New Jersey Singles.
Make Sure He Knows First
Regardless of how big of a jerk your fiance has been lately, he should
be the first one to know about your decision of calling things off. You might have discussed with a couple of
friends, or even your parents about all the not so nice things your fiance did,
but having them be the ones to deliver the news to him is not the right
decision. And actually, it's very
immature. Even if your relationship has
hit rock bottom, at one point you thought he was the person you would marry
down the road, right? So the fair thing
to do would be for you to go up to him and let him know you are parting ways. No man deserves any less than that.
Do It In Person
You might feel tempted to use an impersonal way of breaking up with you
fiance, however, breaking up with your fiance using text message, email, or
Facebook is not the right way to break up with him. All these ways make you come off as a coward. And it will leave him feeling puzzled about
why you're breaking things off with him, explains New Jersey Singles. The proper way to break up with your fiance
is to do it in person. He will be able
to tell you're serious and mature about what you're doing. And at the same time, it will give you both
closure.
Find The Right Place & Time
If you don't want to hurt your fiance's feelings anymore, then think of
the appropriate time to give him your decision.
If your fiance happens to be the emotional type, then maybe you should
do it on Thursday or Friday, so he at least has the weekend to compose
himself. On the other hand, if he uses
work to fix his problems, you can break up with him on a Monday so that the
busy work week will clear his mind from the terrible breakup. Remember, there isn't a perfect time to
announce a breakup, regardless of how you plan it. A breakup is bound to bring anger and pain to
anyone.
The location does play a major role in the breakup. This is why you should pick a neutral zone
like a restaurant or a local park where neither of you can claim an unfair
advantage. It would be very selfish to
pick your own home to announce the breakup.
A neutral place will ensure that both of you feel comfortable enough to
express your feelings. The perfect place
to do it would be at a corner cafe where you have a quiet space to yourselves,
or even while walking in the park.
Keep Things Simple
While your fiance does deserve an explanation, there is no need to
recap the whole story of your relationship with every incident and story that
happened in the past, explains New Jersey Singles. Focus solely on the part that you think is
the main reason you want to call things off with him. If you go into too many details that cannot
be explained, it might make your fiance think you're not completely sure about
your decision.
Get Prepared
If your relationship has been going down the drain in recent months,
then it's unlikely that your fiance is unaware of what's going on. However, the decision to break up is a big
one, and regardless of how clueless he is, the announcement of a broken
engagement is sure to hit him like a sack of bricks. So be prepared for a whole range of emotions
coming from him, emotions such as denial, disbelief, accusations, jealousy, and
even anger. How your fiance responds
will depend on how he actually is in real life.
He might convince you to stay and give it one more shot, or launch an
attack on you. Be calm and steady about
your decision to call things off, explains New Jersey Singles. While you might be willing to answer a few of
his questions, don't get pulled into the cycle of accusations and counter
accusations. This is only a technique to
make you hurt and change your mind. On
the other hand, your ex fiance might be quiet and save his outbursts for later
when you're not there. Don't try to pull
an expression out of him--Simply let him know you're ready to breakup and be
done.
Finally, be steady and firm with your decision, explains New Jersey
Singles. Upon hearing your breakup,
your ex will plead, argue, and suggest you give it another try. But keep in mind all the reasons you decided
to take this step. And don't fall back
into giving him another shot if that's not what you really want in your heart. So regardless of how bad you feel, resist
promising him anything, reminds New Jersey Singles. Don't say, "I'll call you soon,"
or, "We'll meet up again." A
clean break will help the pain be less and help you each move on as quickly as
possible.
